calm my anxious heart

1 hall camping trip to organize

3 books to read before Saturday

3 papers to write before Friday

3 presentations to finish before the end of the semester

4 projects to finish before the end of the semester

5 days until spring break

6 papers to write before the end of the semester

14 days until Easter

30 days until I turn 21

37 days until I am DONE with this semester

44 days until I am off contract as an RA

52 days until I leave for Brazil!

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat of what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on.  is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?  Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not of more value than they?  And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life?  And why are you anxious about clothing?  Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.  But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?  Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or "What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all.  But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.  Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient of the day is its own trouble." Matthe 6:25-34

Sometimes the Lord calms the storm...other times He calms His child.  

Kid time

If you know me, you know I adore kids.  I'm pretty sure I would rather spend my time will silly little ones than with adults most of the time  :)  One of my favorite things about being in Rezlife is getting to know the RDs and their families.  Kelly is an RD here and he and his wife have three beautiful/handsome children.  I get the blessing of hanging with them occasionally and I love it!  On Sunday, we got to spend some time together while their parents were out.  So. Much. Fun.

Kyler and I worked on a puzzle for a little while.

Brayden loves the Bible.  Like really loves it.  

So...Brayden and I built the Temple in Jerusalem out of blocks  :)

Right now, they are fostering five kittens until they are old enough to be weened and given away.  They are so funny to watch...they are just now starting to play with each other!  Haha.

We had breakfast for dinner (my personal favorite): breakfast potatoes, eggs and turkey bacon.

This is sweet Naiya.  She was lovin her applesauce and sweet potatoes.

This is the second time building the Temple. (I'm telling you...he really loves the Bible.)

"But Jesus said, 'Let the little children come to me.  Don't stop them! For the kingdom of Heaven belongs to those who are like these children.'" Matthew 19:14

Soul care.

This week has just been on of those weeks.  One of those weeks where everything seems to be packedtogetherthistight and there's not room for anything beyond the necessities.  I feel like I'm just trying to keep my head above water--just trying to endure the waves and wait for calm seas again.

This week has included many events that have given me a run for my money:

-Sending out support letters to fundraise for Brazil

-Trying to get sleep even though my body has decided to stop sleeping through the night

-Turning in my "Intent to Graduate" forms

-Finding housing for next year (eek.)

-Having to fight feeling inadequate, overwhelmed, happy, sad, frustrated, humbled, angry, isolated and even depressed

-Choosing to trust the Lord even when I feel this way

-Being a student (papers, student teaching/service learning, projects, tests)

It's times like this when I just want to run far, far away.  To get away from life.  I yearn to be home with my family.  I miss my mom's hugs, my Dad's talks with me and my brothers' laughter.  I just keep waiting for my spirit to find rest.

"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  Matthew 11: 28-30


So for now, I will seek the Lord with all my heart.
He promises that when I do, I will find rest.
But more importantly, I will find Him.
And He is more than enough.

"In your presence there is fullness of joy."

Psalm 16:11

Sabbath

This season of lent, my roommate and I decided to give up doing homework on Sundays in order to gain a Sabbath.  Yesterday was the first day that we got to enjoy the fruits of our labor and it was wonderful.  When God gave the Ten Commandments in the Old Testament, the fourth command was to keep the Sabbath.

 "Remember to Sabbath day, to keep it holy.  Six days you shall labor, and do all your work, but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God.  On it you shall not do any work, you, or your son, or your daughter, your male servant, or your female servant, or your livestock, or the sojourner who is within your gates.  For in six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day.  Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy."  Exodus 20: 8-11

The Lord took the most time to explain this one of all the commandments.  He specified that the Sabbath was for everyone.  The Lord really laid it on my heart that there is wisdom in keeping a Sabbath--a day of rest, especially for college students.

This last week, I spent my free time making sure my homework was done and I was ready for this week.  I spent Saturday working instead of playing all day.  When Sunday rolled around, I had nothing to do except rest.  I got to go to church and not rush home to get homework done.  I go to go to the park with friends and play kickball.  I got to go to a dear friend's house for dinner and not even think about homework the whole time.  I went to bed without being exhausted and woke up this morning feeling more rested and ready to face the week than I have in a long time.  

I think this whole Sabbath thing might just have to stick around for longer than Lent season.  I'm thinking this might become a life practice.  It's amazing how the Bible is just filled to the brim with wisdom that I so often overlook, but boy is it sweet when the Lord grabs my attention and draws me in closer.  Thank you, Jesus.

On my heart.

I'm going to Brazil.

Yep, I'm about as shocked as your probably are/were.

I'm not really sure how it all happened so fast, but the Lord is clearly leading me there.  So, I'm going.  I will be leaving just 4 days after my last final of this semester and returning just two days before my brothers graduation in May.

Crazy, huh?  I think so too.

This is Sao Paulo.  See all those homes?  Maybe the people living in them will hear the good news of Jesus Christ while I'm there.  Only God knows.

But boy am I excited to go.  Here am I, He's sending me.

The Fruit of the Spirit

I CHOOSE LOVE...

No occasion justifies hatred; no injustice warrants bitterness.  I choose love.

Today I will love God and what God loves.

I CHOOSE JOY...

I will invite my God to be the God of circumstance.

I will refuse the temptation to be cynical...

the tool of the lazy thinker.  

I will refuse to see people as anything less than human beings, created by God.  

I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God.

I CHOOSE PEACE...

I will live forgiven.  I will forgive so that I may live.

I CHOOSE PATIENCE...

I will overlook the inconveniences of the world.  

Instead of cursing the one who takes my place,I'll invite him to do so.  

Rather than complain that the wait is to long, 

I will thank God for a moment to pray.  

Instead of clenching my fist at new assignments, 

I will face them with joy and courage.

I CHOOSE KINDNESS...

I will be kind to the poor, for they are alone.  

Kind to the rich, for they are afraid.  

And kind to theunkind, for such is how God has treated me.

I CHOOSE GOODNESS...

I will go without a dollar before I take a dishonest one.  

I will be overlooked before I will boast.  I will confess before I will accuse.  

I choose goodness.

I CHOOSE FAITHFULNESS...

Today I will keep my promises.  My debtors will not regret their trust.  

My associates will not question my word.  

My wife will not question my love and my children will never fear that their

father will not come home.

I CHOOSE GENTLENESS...

Nothing is won by force.  I choose to be gentle.  

If I raise my voice, may it only be in praise.  

If I clench my fist, may it only be in prayer.  

If I make a demand, may it be only of myself.

I CHOOSE SELF-CONTROL...

I am a spiritual being... After this body is dead, my spirit will soar.  

I refuse to let what will rot, rule the eternal.  I choose self-control.  

I will be drunk only by joy.  Iw ill be impassioned only by my faith.  

I will be influenced only by God.  I will be taught only be Christ.  

I choose self-control.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  To these I commit my day.  If I succeed, I will give thanks.  If I fail, I will seek his grace.  And then, when this day is done, I will place my head on my pillow and rest.

MAX LUCADO

When God Whispers Your Name

it's been a while...

Well, I'm back.

I took a short [read: long] hiatus from blogging toward the end of last semester because it was just too much to juggle.  Between school, my girls and the anticipation of break, I simply didn't have time.  Praise the Lord, the semester ended well and my Christmas break at home was wonderful.  It was such an incredible blessing to be with my family an see my friends from home.  They bring joy to my life and they calm my spirit.

Needless to say, I am now back at school and writing this from my dorm sweet dorm  :)  The A/C unit in the hallway is humming, the smell of burnt toast is wafting down the hall and into my room and the sunlight is beaming through my window announcing the start of a new day, new year, new semester.

The Lord has given me great anticipation of what is to come in these next few months.  I am so excited to see Him show up.  To see Him reach down and intervene supernaturally in the natural course of life.  I'm so excited to tell of His mighty deeds and sing of His works--to give Him the praise that He alone is due.  God is faithfully teaching me so much.  As I look forward to this semester, I am reminded to not overlook the power of the present.  The Lord is HERE.  Now.

So, for now, I am going to be faithful with little.  As I go about my day to day tasks, my moment to moment thoughts, I am going to seek to glorify my Creator.  Lord, help me to bring You glory.

"If you want to stay close to Me and do things My way, ask Me to show you the path forward moment by moment.  Instead of dashing headlong toward your goal, let Me set the pace.  Slow down, and enjoy the journey in my Presence."  ~Jesus Calling

called out. called back.

Let me first start by saying my God is awesome.

This week has rocked my world.  The Lord is challenging me in some amazing ways right now and I am doing my best to be faithful and obedient.  Praise the Lord for His grace  :)

Last night, I was walking to the store with my friend Paul (another RA on staff with me) and we were talking.  He had just finished watching "Slumdog Millionaire" and so we started to talk about the premise of the movie.  Paul was explaining that he was so challenged by the main character, Jamal.  Jamal grows up in the slums, experiences some major hardships and is miraculously rescued from the slum life.  Once he is older, he decides to go back to the slums looking for his childhood friend, Prakash.  His sole aim is to find her and bring her out of the hardship of living in the slums.  

I was so challenged by this thought: What has God rescued me from that He is calling me back into in order to give others hope?  What is it that the Lord has miraculously saved me from that I need to go back to in order to point others to the Savior?  This one question has messed. me. up.

I've been thinking about how I am going to spend my next couple years.  When do I want to graduate?  Do I want to re-apply to be an RA for next year?  Do I want to intern somewhere this summer?  What about grad school?  So much to think about.  

So right now, I find myself in a place of total surrender to the Lord.  Wherever He sends me, I will go.  With a willing heart, I will go.  With eyes open to hurt, ears open to stories and a heart open to change, I will go.  Here I am Lord, send me. 

So now I ask you: What has God rescued YOU from that He is calling YOU back into in order to give others hope?  Let this one question turn your world upside down.  Turn your attention outward.  Turn your heart to the Lord.  Let it mess. you. up.

{heaven on earth}

Today my friend Sarah, and I ventured out to the Melrose Trading Post.  It was absolutely wonderful.  It's basically this HUGE flea market full of hidden treasures: antiques, trendy clothes, lovely jewelry.  You name it, they've got it.  Hundreds of vendors pack into Fairfax High School and set up shop.  Sarah and I spent a few hours just walking around and looking at everything.  This might be my favorite place I've seen in L.A. so far.  I LOVE it.

pretty dresser?  yes please.

"...the Christian child's book" hmmmm.

old cameras.

a sweet accordion 

pretty little sundresses 

handmade ceramics and a handmade sign  :)

guess which one I bought???

old books.

love.

in a little girl's room?  i think yes.

i wish you could see the cat on the end of the leash this guy is holding...

art.

can't go wrong with cowboy boots.

a restful, relaxing, rejuvenating day.  much needed.

"Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."  
Isaiah 40:30-31

real worship?

I saw this video on facebook and it was such an incredible reminder for me.  

Warning: this video may be REALLY convicting  :)  

I am

Man oh man, these last couple weeks have been absolutely crazy (hence the silence here on the bloggy-blog).  We are smack dab in the middle of midterms right now, swamped with deadlines.  I've come to terms with the fact that "busy" is the new "normal," however lately, I've been "busier" than normal  :)  It's incredible how far the Lord allows us to be stretched.  

In the midst of all this chaos, God has been teaching me so much about myself and who I am in Him.  Sometimes it's easiest to find who we are by defining who we're not.  There are so many things that are  only a part of who I am but not who I am.  The other day, Wonderfully Made had a beautiful post about a prayer of identity.  So, here's what mine looks like.

I am not a daughter, sister, granddaughter or mentor.

I am not a teacher to be.

I am not a student or an RA.

I am not compassionate, intelligent, discerning or passionate. 

I am not impatient, prideful, doubtful or fearful.

I am a sinner clothed fully in the righteousness of Jesus Christ, destined for eternity with Him.

What does your prayer of identity look like?

I am not (my relationships)

I am not (my training/degree)

I am not (my job)

I am not (my gifts/talents)

I am not (my failures)

I am...

Who are you?

GYRAD

Saturday night was our first big hall event of the year.  The girls have been asking for a guy-girl event since the beginning of the year, so I finally agreed to it  :)

I decided to do GYRAD (Get Your Roommate A Date).  It's exactly what it sounds like.  haha.  Each of the girls goes out "hunting" for a date for her roomie.  It's pretty fantastic to overhear the conversations the week prior to this event.

For our GYRAD, we all went to the caf for dinner.  This eliminated the awkward "who pays?" situation that often arises on first dates.  After a [not so] delicious dinner, we all headed off to Huntington beach for a bonfire and hang time.  Once we got there, people kinda made up their own fun.  A bunch of people headed to the water and dipped their toes/bodies in (crazies), others grabbed the volleyball or frisbee and still others just hung out around the fire and had good conversations and s'mores.  It was great because for those who wanted to be "couple-y," the opportunity was there, but for those who were just going as friends, there were plenty of "non-couple-y" activities available [good planning on our part].

Here are a few pictures from our night:

Eryn (the other Top Flight RA) brought a Nacho Libre mask...so we thought,

 "Let's have everyone take pictures with it on!"  Why not, right?!

Nothing like toes on a cold beach and hands over a blazing fire.

My duty for the night??  Rationing the chocolate.

Eryn and her date  :) 

I LOVE the look on this guy's face.  The fire literally looks like it's attacking him!

So. Much. Fun.

Seriously, such a great event.  I just love seeing my girlies have fun and enjoy themselves.  Being an RA is the biggest blessing in my life.  I adore these girls.  Their joy inspires me.  Their vulnerability is humbling.  Their love for life is contagious.  Their laughter warms my heart.  Their faith in me and my Jesus is incredible.  

Often times I think, "I don't deserve ANY of this..." and the truth is...I don't.  But that's the beauty of it.  I don't deserve any of this and still my God continues to bless me through it.

The Bible says every good and perfect gift is from above.
And right now, I feel like I'm living in the clouds.

Rest for my soul

This weekend Abbie and I are spending time in Simi Valley with her family.
Home-cooked dinners, early bedtimes, late wake-up calls, comfy beds,
garage sale-ing, lazy afternoons, frozen yogurt.  Yes please.

I am praising the Lord for an incredible roommate to spend this time with.  I am praising the Lord because He is so faithful to give me rest in the midst of my crazy life (that I love, I might add).  This is the kind of rejuvenation that only comes from the Giver of Life itself.

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  ~Matthew 11:28-31


Do you need for rest for your soul?
Run to Jesus.

beauty out of ashes

All this pain

I wonder if I'll ever find my way

I wonder if my life could really change at all

All this earth

Could all that is lost ever be found

Could a garden come up from this ground at all

You make beautiful things 

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us

All around

Hope is springing up from this old ground

Out of chaos life is being found in You

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of the dust

You make beautiful things

You make beautiful things out of us


You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us


You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new


You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of the dust
You make beautiful things
You make beautiful things out of us

You make me new, You are making me new
You make me new, You are making me new
You are making me new

mmmmm...so good.

overflow.

So, I'm sitting here in my messy room with homework that needs to be done, a floor that is begging to be vacuumed and a bed that is beckoning me to come and sleep.  I have a schedule that demands every bit of my time be put to use.  I have people in my life that are desperate to be poured into--dead people walking all around that need the living water of Jesus Christ.  It can be slightly burdensome.

This morning I woke up with a deep-rooted hunger for the Word.  As I opened up my Bible, I turned to Matthew: "Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."  

~Matthew 11:28-30

As I think about my life and the day-to-day stresses, I am so convicted of my lack of trust in my Sovereign God.  His Word says that His commands are not burdensome--His yoke is light.  The flip side of that coin is that anything that is burdensome is not of the Lord.  Stress?  Not of the Lord.  Inadequacy?  Not of the Lord?  Overwhelming busyness?  Not of the Lord.  Though those things may come my way, I do not need to be burdened by them because I serve a God who carries them for me.  My Jesus carries me.

It's nearing midnight and I am listening to the laughter of my residents echo down the hallway.  I'm listening to my wonderful roommate learn a few new worship songs on guitar.  I'm rejoicing that I get to start a Bible study with the girls on my hall on Sunday night.  I'm glancing around my room and seeing pictures of my family and friends who love me and care for me.  Mostly, I'm thanking God for gifting me the role of RA.  I'm more tired than I've been in a while and yet my life is more full than it has ever been.

Basically what I'm trying to say is that God is good.

Blessings.

This week has been one of the most insane weeks of my entire life.  The Lord has really forced me to lean on Him for strength, and I'm praising Him for that.  I'd love to share with you some of the many blessings in my life this week:

1. I have been able to meet all of my residents even in the craziness of this first week of school.

2. I have had some incredible conversations with residents who have confided in me.  

3. I have been able to pray with so many residents in the last few days.  Small things.  Big things.  Everything.

4. In the moments when I have felt the weakest, God has sent me encouragement through His Word, notes of encouragement from friends, blogs, the most unlikely of places.

5. Wednesday night the girls who lived on Top Flight (my floor) last year came and "initiated" our residents this year.  They shared great stories, laughed a lot and prayed over mine and Eryn's (the other 4th floor RA) girls.  It was wonderful.

6. Last night we had our first family dinner and I had about 30 girls show up to go to dinner in the caf together!!!  I was so excited  :)  

7. During hall dinner, I was able to get the ENTIRE dining hall to sing "Happy Birthday" to one of my girls whose birthday was yesterday  :)

8. Last night while I was on duty, I got to talk with a couple residents and we all shared life stories (my fav).  It blew me away how we serve one God who is so intimately involved in each of our lives simultaneously.

9. This morning I got to go for a walk with Eryn and we shared life stories and talked.  I'm so excited to serve alongside her this year.  

10. Today I got to have lunch with one of my D-group girls from last year and hear about how her school year is going.

11. I'm getting better from being sick all week!  My energy is slowly coming back and I'm returning to a pretty normal schedule (I haven't needed to nap for 2 days now!!!).

12. My residents are absolutely the best.  These girls blow me away each and every day.  They are so encouraging, open, and wanting to seek the Lord together this year.  

What more could I ask for?

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." 

~James 1:17

Good Times.

Well...this is my 100th blog post!!!  Pretty darn cool if you ask me  :)

This last week has just been one huge blessing altogether.  I've spent some quality time with my staff, and that has been amazing.  They are all wonderful and full of energy and such servants at heart.  We work well together, which is something that I have been praying for since I found out I was going to be an RA.  God is so faithful to answer prayers.  

This week has also been insanely busy!  We were preparing for move-in weekend and that involved lots of planning, decorating and sacrificing sleep.  Needless to say, it was all worth it and I would do it 100 times over.  Our residents started to arrive on Friday!  It was so much fun to finally put faces to names that I have been praying over for weeks now.  Friday and Saturday were both longggggg days.  We rotated between being in the lobby selling t-shirts, birthday cakes and sunglasses and being on our halls meeting residents and parents.  Saturday was our first football game and that was a blast!  We lost, but it was a good game and it was fun to be with 6,000+ people cheering on our guys.

Yesterday was much more of a "chill" day and last night was Good Times, an event put on by the Alpha Leaders on campus.  It's out on Adams field and it's just a bunch of hilarious skits back to back.  It's a great way to start off the year and a needed distraction for many freshmen as they said goodbye to their families yesterday.  After Good Times, I had a bunch of girls over to my room for a girlie movie: "A Cinderella Story."  I was blessed with lots of sweet girls in my room.  I cannot wait to get to know each and every one of them better.  

On Friday, our mascot, Freddy Cougar was walking the halls...so Abbs and I took a picture with him  :)

A glorious sunset before Good Times.  This was followed by a midwest style thunder and lightning storm.

Some of my residents! 

...more residents!

Eryn and me--Eryn is the other 4th floor RA.

One of my residents, Caitlin.  She's such a sweetheart.

Courtney and Katie (roomies on our hall).

Hangin out before Good Times!

This picture is blurry, but I really love it!

SOOOO many people came out for Good Times this year!

More lovely ladies  :)

Abbs and me.  I adore her.

You can see the sheets of rain if you look closely!  It was amazing.

After Good Times a handful of girls crashed my place for a movie--my favorite moment of being an RA so far  :)

Needless to say, I LOVE my residents.  They are simply the best.  I'm sure there will be lots more pictures to come.  

This week I would love it if you could be praying for a few things:

1. Lots of opportunities to connect with my residents.

2. My health.  I'm pretty under the weather right now.

3. Our all hall meeting tonight--that we would communicate effectively.

4. The hearts of my residents--that they would be full of joy and open to what God might be teaching them.

5. Rest for me.  In the midst of all this craziness, I really need to find time for me and usually that's the first thing to get tossed out the window  ;)

6.  For God to be glorified in me.  Really, at the end of the day, that's all I want.

"My heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast!  I will sing and make melody!  Awake, my glory!  Awake, O harp and lyre!  I will awake the dawn!  I will give thanks to you, O Lord, among the peoples; I will sing praises to you among the nations.  For your steadfast love is great to the heavens, your faithfulness to the clouds.  Be exalted, O God, above the heavens!  

Let your glory be over all the earth!"

~Psalm 57:7-11