{jumbled}

It is almost midnight and here I find myself with my brain running a hundred miles a minute, my heart sad and my eyelids heavy. 

This summer has been a whirlwind on so many levels.  In some ways it seems like I was just in the middle of a stressful finals week at school and in other ways, it seems like this summer began forever ago.

And now, it's the end.  In less than 28 hours I will be on the road to my home away from home--APU.  It's mixed emotions like never before.  I'm hopeful for what God is going to do and thankful for what He has already done.  I'm scared that I'm completely inadequate, yet learning to trust that when I am weak, He is strong.  I'm sad that I'm leaving and overjoyed to arrive.  I'm missing my family already, but so looking forward to seeing all my friends at school.  I'm blessed by my girls here and can't wait to meet the girls on my hall.

I'm all jumbled up inside.  

And you know what?  That's okay with me. 

I'm learning that it's in the moments when I don't have it all figured out that I'm reminded what it means to trust God.  To draw on Him alone for strength and encouragement.  To abide in Him and soak up His mercy.  To allow myself to be lavished with His perfect love.  

And this perfect love gives me hope.  My God is enough.

"...we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character, and character, hope.  And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love in our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us."

~Romans 5:3-5