Thankful

Not my will, but yours be done.

This is the prayer of my life right now. It's amazing how God will completely flip our lives upside-down as soon as we surrender our everything to Him. This week has been a week of unpredictability, uncertainty, and un-bridled praise.

I am thankful...

when the world sees me as defeated, because God is my prize.

when there is no the light in sight, because I know the Son is still shining.

when the way is narrow, because there is no one to turn to but God alone.

when God takes away, because He gives me more of Himself.

when life is just hard, because it means God is refining me, His vessel.

when I can't think straight, because God will take control of my thoughts.

when my heart hurts, because God is my Comforter.

when I am broken, because God is my Healer.

when the tears fall, because the angels will surround me.

when I'm exhausted, because God rejuvenates.

when life is uncertain, because there are more opportunities for God to break through...

I am thankful for a God who reigns over all.

Life

I am so ecstatic to be home soon!

It's amazing how a few events can change my perspective on life! Over the last month especially, God has really shown me how much my family and friends matter to me. There have been times that I have literally thought that I could possibly die sooner rather than later. It's an amazing thing to honestly look death square in the eye.

Somehow, through it all, the only thing I could see clearly was God's hand. I saw God's hand on me, in my situation, working in the lives of others around me, using me to bring Him glory, and ultimately, His hand of healing. I am so humbled to look back and see that God really does work in the details of our everyday lives.

And so, as I look forward--12 hours from now, I will be in the air, on my way to see the ones I love most--my amazing family, my incredible boyfriend, my home church, and friends I have missed. I am so thankful God has given me a second chance at life in my own mind. It brings tears to my eyes...and as they roll off my face, I cannot help but know that God is catching each and every one of them.

This picture below is amazing. This is how I would describe my life in the last few months. I cannot ignore the fact that God has been cradling me this whole time. At first, I felt like a seed--surrounded by dirt. That's all I could see. I felt that I was suffocating in icky, bad, filthy stuff. And there was no one there with me. And then, the water came, and I felt like I was drowning and suffocating all at the same time. I couldn't breath, and the dirt just kept getting more dense all around me. And then, in the middle of it all, I began to see growth in myself. Like somehow, God was using all the dirt for good--in fact, I wasn't suffocating, I was being nourished by the Living Water. Now, I look back. I see the dirt below me, I feel the water living in me and bringing life to my soul. And most importantly, I see that God has been holding me this whole time, and He will continue to do that until the day I die. His hands are dirty with my dirt, His fingertips are wet from wiping my tears...He hasn't just ordained all of this, He has hand-crafted it, and lived it with me. Abba Father, thank you.

Life is a precious gift. Live each moment for the glory of God alone.

"God is most glorified in us, when we are most satisfied in Him."

~John Piper

A heavy heart

My heart is heavy, and I ask you to join me in prayer for some dear friends of mine.

First, please pray for my friend Shelby, who had brain surgery yesterday around noon. She is doing well, but has a long road of recovery ahead of her. The surgery went as planned, and the doctor is hopeful about her being able to return to a normal life after she heals. She is a senior in high school this year, so pray that she will be able to finish this school year strong. I praise God for his timing, because I get to go home Friday and I will be able to visit her in the hospital while I'm home for break. What a blessing! I will post more as I get updates.

Also, please pray for the Wright family. I found out this morning that these family friends unexpectedly lost a close relative due to an unexpected heart attack. I can't imagine the grief and pain that they are going through as they figure out how to deal with this loss. Please pray for peace in their family, and that God would be ever-present in their situation.

Thank you for joining with me, as we lift up the hurting people within the Body of Christ. We are one body and when one part hurts, we all should too--and we should do our best to make life a little easier for them, even if only by trusting that our prayers will be answered.

Wind and the waves

I was reading Mark 3-5 today, and I was reminded of a simple story:

"That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, 'Let us go over to the other side.' Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, 'Teacher, don't you care if we drown?' He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, 'Quiet! Be still!' Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to this disciples, 'Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?' They were terrified and asked each other, 'Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!'"

~Mark 3:35-41

It brought me back to an old song written by David Phelps, that says "Even the wind and the waves obey, why can't I....why can't I? Where is my faith, is it lost at sea? Lord, help me be like the wind and the waves." At a moment's notice, a raging storm immediately obeyed Jesus. We should respond to him in the same way.

As I learn to trust God more and more each and every day, I pray that my unbelief and lack of trust would slowly be replaced by complete faith in God's ability to do what He promises.

Lord, help me be like the wind and the waves.

Praying for healing

God is faithful to teach and reveal himself to those who seek him! Today has been a day of struggle for me. As I wait for my body to fight off a systemic infection of Hepatitis A, one of the major side effects is that I am chronically tired. No matter how early I go to bed, how I sleep at night, at about 2 in the afternoon, I get hit with a brick wall, barely able to keep my eyes open. I got so incredibly frustrated today! This last weekend, I purposely made sure to be in bed early and eat healthy foods, yet Monday rolled over me like a Mack truck!

As I lied down to take a nap this afternoon, I kept asking God, "Please heal me, so I can go back to normal living. I just want to be able to get through the day without being exhausted half-way through!"

Right now, I'm reading through the book of Mark in preparation for Easter. It's good to be reminded of the miraculous things that Jesus did in his time here on earth.

"As soon as they left the synagogue, they went with James and John to the home of Simon and Andrew. Simon's mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they told Jesus about her. So he went to her took her hand and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them."

~Mark 1:29-31

I was so convicted! I should not be praying for my healing so that I can get back to my routine! I should be praying for healing so that I may serve others. I want to be the kind of woman that Simon's mother-in-law was. Her first action after being taken off her death bed, was to serve others! Wow! What an amazing example of what it means to be a servant--holy and humble.

You know, I honestly don't fully understand what God is doing with my life right now. I really don't. But, I'm learning to be okay with that. He is teaching me so much! And he's faithful to continue shaping me into the woman of God that he has called me to be.

Proverbs 31 speaks of a woman of the Lord in this manner, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."

This is my "modified prayer." No longer do I want to get better for my own good, but I pray that God might heal me so that I may continue to serve others to the fullest. I praise God for being faithful and full of grace and mercy to His children. It's amazing to learn from the best teacher of all, and know that He rejoices when we finally learn what's He's been trying to teach us all along!

Updates

What a blessing it is to be involved in a LIFEgroup!

Yesterday, I got to hang out with some incredible high school girls after church! It's so great to be able to come together before the start of another week, and really take time to study God's word. Our topic this week was "The Work of the Holy Spirit." We talked about how the Holy Spirit works through the Body of Christ.

This week our challenge was 1. to identify a situation in which we normally struggle to do the right thing (a person, relationship, thought, etc.), and choose to respond to it in a godly way. For example, if there is a person in our life that absolutely drives us bonkers, instead of just ignore them, we would choose to do something nice for them. The second thing we were challenged to do was to memorize a verse that is convicting in the area that we are struggling with. Often, when we only memorize encouraging scripture, but we never memorize scripture that will come to mind when we are sinning.

SO, we'll see how it goes! I'm hoping a praying that this week God will work in our hearts!

Please be praying for:

-Me to be able to get caught up on school work before Spring break

-My LIFEgroup girls to really take this week's challenge to heart

-My professors to have mercy on me as I get my assignments turned in (I'm still catching up from surgery!)

-Time to study for my biology exam on Wednesday!

-Safe travels home from Saudi Arabia for my daddy :)

-Energy for me (I'm really struggling to stay physically strong)

Praises:

-Only 4 more days til I get home!!!!!!

-I made it through my last hard week of school (last week)

-God is continuing to heal me from surgery

-Matthew is picking me up from the airport on Friday!!! Yayyy!!

Alrighty, I think that's it for now. I thank you for your prayers!

New mercies

Today was such a long day! It was one of those days where I battled my sinful nature from sun up til sun down. It seems that today was an epic failure as far as holy living goes. I was quick to anger, and be resentful toward other people, and slow to listen, and quick to judge. It's times like these, where I am reminded of God's promise to forgive...always. Casting Crowns says it best:

I think I'll cling to this today. Thank God for new mercies every morning!

Praying for YOU!

And this is my prayer for you:

"I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ maw dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."

Have you ever felt tired??? Around this time of year, I see more and more Facebook status updates like, "Can I please just get a little sleep, that's all I'm asking..." Or, "Hello 4am, I haven't seen you in a while." Or, "I feel like I've been run over by a Mack truck." I can relate! With midterms just now wrapping up, Spring break around the corner (meaning, I get to see my wonderful family and boyfriend, who I have missed terribly....), every bone in my body is screaming, "I NEED A BREAK!!!!!"

All I want to say to you today, is be encouraged! I am praying for you all. God is teaching me to pray continually, and when someone crosses my mind, I pray for them--for whatever is going on in their life at that moment--even if I don't know, I know God does.

As you tire in this season of school finishing up for you, or for your kids, be filled to the brim with the love and power of Christ Himself. In those moments of utter exhaustion, take heart, He is able to do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine!

"This is the day the LORD has made, rejoice and be glad in it!"

~Psalm 118:24

Awesome God

I am so humbled and amazed by how God has revealed Himself in my life! I could not be more ecstatic about how ever-present God is--even in the middle of sucky circumstances.

I have a wonderful doctor at home (in Seattle) who has been tirelessly searching for answers on my behalf. He has been speaking to lab technicians in California, my doctors in California, other specialists he knows, and anyone else that might be able to help. He, like me, was shocked to find my blood results showing that I had tested positive for Hepatitis A and B.

Today, we got word that as a matter of fact, I DO have Hepatitis A. But I DON'T have Hepatitis B!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOHOOOOOO! My doctor in California completely mis-read the results and gave me completely FALSE information!!! I could hardly believe it when my mom called to tell me. I am so elated to know that everything really is fine. My doctor confirmed the presence of Hep A, but that is very, VERY manageable and will be easily taken care of in a matter of a few weeks.

I was reminded of so many Bible verses when I found out the good news. God hears the prayers of the saints. I praise God with my whole being for YOU. For the prayers of the many that have stood beside me through this. I have had so many people rally around me, with the complete faith that everything will work out. In 1 Chronicles, there is an account of a war that takes place. Though the odds are stacked against God's people, God allows them victory in the end:

"They were helped in fighting them, and God handed the Hagrites and all their allies over to them, because they cried out to him during the battle. He answered their praters, because they trusted in him."

~1 Chronicles 5:20

I give God all the praise and glory and honor for continually bringing me through, on no one's strength, but His. This whole ordeal has not been one bit about me, or what I can push through...it is ALL about Him and how he can intervene even in the most bleak of situations. Please, as I rejoice in His great work, will you join with me in giving Him all the praise that is due to His name alone.

Specifically, I praise God for my parents, who have been such an incredible encouragement to me through this all. God has blessed me beyond all imagination through these two amazing people. My mom is like God's tangible arms around me, even from two states away. And my dad is my protector and provider, always making sure I have more than enough. I couldn't be more blessed.

We truly serve an awesome God.

Bringing praise

Isn't it amazing how when we seek the Lord and are open to His plan in our lives, He pours out encouragement and scripture to sustain us???

This is a portion of our scripture in Health today:

"Then I thought, 'to this I will appeal:

the years of the right hand of the Most High.'

I will remember the deeds of the LORD;

yes I will remember your miracle of long ago.

I will meditate on all your works,

and consider all your mighty deeds.

Your ways, O God, are holy.

What god is so great as our God?

You are the God who performs miracles;

you display your power among the peoples.

With your mighty arm you redeemed your people,

the descendants of Jacob and Joseph.

The waters saw you, O God,

the waters saw you and writhed;

the very depths were convulsed.

The clouds poured down water,

the skies resounded with thunder;

your arrows flashed back and forth.

Your thunder was heard in the whirlwind,

your lightning lit up the world;

the earth trembled and quaked.

Your path led through the sea,

your way through the mighty waters,

though your footprints were not seen.

You led your people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron."

~Psalm 77:10-20

It may not seem like anything significant at first glance, but there is so much wisdom poured into this one small passage of Scripture. It must be understood that before this passage, the author (Asaph--David's right hand man, and in charge of worship for the whole nation of Israel) is struggling with thoughts of "Where is God in all of this?" He feels as though God is not present in his circumstances. But just as it seems that there is no hope, he directs his thoughts to praise.

So often, we, as humans overlook the need to come to a place of worship in the midst of hardship. Our natural tendency is to throw ourselves a pity party and wallow in our sorrow. Though my body--in so many ways--wants to do just that, I absolutely refuse to fall victim to it.

Worship is the force by which the problems of life slowly lose momentum.

Asaph comes to a place where he remembers the deeds that God has done. He holds on to God's innumerable acts of faithfulness in the past. He even goes so far to worship God for nature--thunder, rain, lightning--all the things that we overlook each and every day. If we really stopped to worship God for His majesty, how much greater would God be in our own minds and how much smaller would we be? It's incredible to ponder.

The funny thing about the whole passage is how at the end of the passage, after worshipping God for his mighty strength and awesome power, Asaph throws in "...though your footprints were not even seen." Isn't that absolutely incredible??? God has the power, might and majesty to make HUGE things happen, like earthquakes, and thunderstorms, and lightning bolts, and floods, and tsunamis....and He can do it all without even leaving a trace of Himself.

This is the choice we have--to worship-even when we don't see the footprints.

So, here I stand, before a most holy and awesome God, with nothing but worship to give. He has bought me with a price, He has redeemed me from the onslaught of sin, He has set me apart for Himself, He has prepared a place for me, He has blessed me with a family of believers, He has allowed me the capacity to serve others. He has called me to a holy calling, He has saved me to the body of Christ, He has put me here at APU.

And for that...if nothing else, God deserves my wholehearted worship.

I will bring praise.

Deliverance

"Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."

~Philippians 1:18b-21

Oh man, God is really giving me a run for my money with this one--no doubt about it. Honestly, this weekend has been so trying and just when I thought my faith couldn't be stretched anymore, God proved me wrong again. I find myself in a place where nothing is comfortable, nothing is certain and I can hardly focus on what the next hour will bring. I'm at a place of utter surrender--a good place to be, I guess.

I don't know if I can really say the same thing that Paul did. As he sat in a cold, dark, small jail cell, all He could think to write about was Christ. As I find myself in a cold, dark, isolated place in life, the more I want to write about this cold, dark, isolated place. Sin sucks. I wonder if it was a struggle for Paul to rejoice in all circumstances.

As I harvest every bit of strength in me to keep my eyes fixed on Him, I ask you to rally around me in prayer. My heart wants to do one thing, and the rest of my body stands rigid in protest. I desire so badly for God to use me for His glory--even in this. Whatever it takes for His Name to be far above and highly exalted, I'm all in. God hears the prayers of His saints.

Honestly, I don't have it mastered, and I never will. Right now, I am wrestling with selfish thoughts of "Why me?" and then I'm quickly reminded of God's still, small voice that says, "Because I'm with you. And with me, all things are possible."

And so, I press on, with this as my prayer:

Lord, forgive me for my lack of faith. Test me and try me, make me wholly acceptable in Your sight. Please rid me of all my impurities and begin to rebuild who I am at my very core. And above all, would You give me the privilege of honoring You?

With me

"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures,

he leads be beside quiet waters, he restores my soul.

He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil, for you are with me;

your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,

and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

~Psalm 23

What a promise...

In my weakest moments, he quiets my soul and cares for me with tenderness and compassion. Like a shepherd does for His sheep, like a Father for His child, like a Savior for a sinner.

I will fear no evil, for HE is with me.

Hold me now...for real

My life is insane! I praise God that this whole time He has been teaching me more and more to lean on Him and "cast all my cares on Him" in the midst of chaos. To be honest, my life was rocked yesterday. But I'm holding on to the promises of God through it all. It's interesting that I blogged about all things holding together just the day before the storm.

When I had initial blood work done before I went in for surgery to remove my gall bladder (Only a week and a half ago), my liver counts came back a little abnormal. After finding the very sickly gall bladder, the doctors just figured that it had been a chain reaction and had cause my liver to flare up also. However, after surgery was over, and new blood work was done, my liver counts still came back looking not so good. We all figured it was just because my body had not yet fully recovered from surgery just a day earlier. SO, I was asked to go in for blood work this last Wednesday to confirm that everything was fine.

When I got to the lab, they told me to call back in a week to get my test results back, and they would clear me. However, mid-day yesterday I received a phone call from my doctor who sent me in for the lab work. He had called to refer me to a specialist because my blood work showed I tested positive for Hepatitis A and B. In that moment, as those words rolled off his tongue, my whole body began to shake and I had no idea what to say.

As I went through the rest of the day scheduling doctor's appointments, calling family members, seeking other counsel, researching on the internet and asking God "why?," I couldn't help but offer everything to Him.

At this point, there is still much that I don't understand (like how I could have possibly contracted Hepatitis B). There are still a whole lot of unknowns as far as what the rest of my life will look like. One thing I do know is that it won't ever be the same. But to be honest, I'm okay with that. It means that there are way more opportunities for God to show Himself to me, and everyone around me.

"You are blessed when you're at the end of your rope.

With less of you there is more of God and His rule."

~Matthew 5:3 (The Message)

As I look to Him for guidance and comfort, I would appreciate your prayers alongside me. Pray for wisdom for my doctors/specialists. Pray that my witness would be pure and holy. Pray that through this, I would draw closer to the Maker of life itself. I know He has all things in control.

And He has promised to hold me together.

Hold me now

Today was one of those days...one of those days when the sun rises far too early, when my shower is far too short, when I get up early and still don't have enough time to get everything done before class. Today was one of those days when I didn't even have time to eat until on in the afternoon, when classes dragged on and on, when I felt like I was chasing after the wind. Today was filled with an interview for a job, a test in my first class, a speech in my second class and a midterm in my third class. Today was one of those days when I was small and God was big.

Today was a glorious day.

"He is before all things, and in him all things hold together."

~Colossians 1:17

There is no way I could have got through today if it weren't for the all-sufficient grace of my Lord Jesus. He gives me strength for today and hope for tomorrow. All I have is thanks and praise.

What could be better than knowing that the Creator of the Universe is holding me together?

But still you love me...

God is doing amazing things in this valley. I am blown away at how God is changing and molding this ministry at Christ's Church of the Valley day by day, week by week, month by month. Today was Jeremiah Mullins's live DVD filming at youth group. To be honest, at first I was concerned that the audience would be inclined to put on a show for worship, just because of the film crew's presence. But what I saw, was something far different.

There was something alive in worship tonight. These kids were honestly pouring themselves into the worship, for no one but God himself. I was so humbled to watch 12 year olds bowing before our King on high, and to see kids coming together to offer sacrifices of praise. The Spirit of God was so clearly moving in the hearts of many. I couldn't help but feel unworthy...

I was thinking about what an irony this is in Christianity. It is during the most intimate of worship times, when I feel most out-of-place. It's like the closer I get to God, the more I see the faults within myself. The more unworthy I feel to be in His presence. It reminded me of a verse I was reading earlier today:

"But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

~1 John 1:7

We are called to walk in the light--in the presence of God the Father, Jesus the Son, with the Holy Spirit in us. So, why is it that when I feel I am doing this most, I begin to feel such separation? Then it hit me like a load of bricks.

I am a sinner. And my natural tendency is to focus on myself. Why in the world would I, being in the presence of God, be focused on myself--even my own sins? It is during those intimate times especially, where we are called to "fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith." I have come to realize that this is one of the wiles of the Devil that many Christians fall into. We get into this "we are so unworthy" mindset, and all the while, we become more and more self-centered and self-focused, while God takes a backseat in our lives.

I am learning that in those moments, when my attention suddenly shifts to my unworthiness, I have to willfully take every thought captive and turn my heart toward Him alone. It is in those moments, when we fix our eyes on Jesus, that He can start to piece by piece replace our identity with His. When we let go of ourselves, and become enthralled by Him, he then, can start to do serious work in our lives. This is the process of sanctification. The process of God making us more and more like Him...it is through sanctification that we become holy and set apart.

And somehow, as God sanctifies us, our unworthiness seems to slowly fade in our minds. Because the only thing that matters is that HE is worthy of our praise.

All I'm living for

Today has been a day of blessing! As I learn more and more how to give God control of every detail of my life, everything seems to run a whole lot smoother! It's amazing how God can take a very hectic week and turn it into an enjoyable experience.

Today I got up early in the morning, so that I could get caught up on my online class. Though I was not so happy at the sound of my alarm this morning, the Lord blessed my time and allowed me to get everything done that I had hoped to get done. What a relief!

I proceeded to Health Class, where I had the joy of listening to my professor and his wife of 11 years speak to us on the topic of dating relationships and marriage. It was so cool to see their love for each other and how they have fostered that within their relationship. They have 5 children, complete with twins just a few weeks old. They shared about the strategies they use to help them grow individually and together, as a couple. It was fun, but so enlightening to hear their insights. I am thankful for wiser, more experienced people than me!

They gave us a handout at the beginning of class, and at the bottom of the handout was this verse:

"Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him."

~Colossians 3:12-17

When I read this, I couldn't help but pray this prayer for myself. I pray that someday, I might be this kind of person. One who is "clothed with compassion, humility, gentleness and patience." One for is ready to forgive. One who is thankful. One who dwells on the word of God. One who does all things for God's glory.

Who are you living for?

Standing in grace

God has been teaching me so much lately. It's amazing what God will reveal as soon as we are willing to submit ourselves to His will, and be completely willing to go wherever he may take us. His love is so evident to me, and His mercies are new.

Yesterday, I was blessed and humbled to be able to share the gospel with a girl I hardly even know. We grew up together in the same school system, but have never spoken a word. Through a series of "facebook interactions," we ended up talking about God and faith and the Bible. She began to pour her heart out to me, and I began an attempt to sort the broken pieces. She's going through some hard things right now, and feels like there's not really anywhere to go from here. God opened up the door for me to be able to share the gospel with her, and to tell her about His amazing love that covers all sin. I got to tell her about how God has worked in my life and helped me overcome some really hard things along the way.

It ended with us committing to study God's Word together. What an incredible opportunity! I quickly threw together a Bible reading plan for this week that would introduce a lot of basic "Bible concepts," in a clear way.

Today's reading came from the beginning of Romans chapter 5:

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God."

~Romans 5:1-2

To be honest, when I chose it, I had my precious new friend in mind. But then I read it for myself, being open to what God had to teach me today.

The part that hit me is that we stand in grace. Right here. Right now. We are clothed in the grace and knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. As I sit on my bed, in sweats and a t-shirt...I am clothed in grace. When I'm driving down the 210 freeway, I am clothed in grace.

Grace is not dependent on my performance as a Christian, it simply is. It stands outside the bounds of human nature. It supersedes all flaws I find in myself and others. Grace makes God see me as His princess.

I wonder how often I live like it.

Lord, please help me learn to stand in grace.

God is GOOD

Sometimes I think I forget simply how good God is. It is so easy to get caught up in the fast-paced world that I have created for myself. No one has imposed it on me, I have simply chosen to follow the crowd. I wonder what life would look like if I really took God's word seriously--

"Be still, and know that I am God;

I will be exalted among the nations.

I will be exalted in the earth."

~Psalm 46:10

I have found that one of my biggest battles with sin is not taking time to be still. This week has been so insanely crazy! It started with an unexpected hospital visit and surgery, and it has ended with me looking back and saying, "Where has the time gone?!" I can only humbly apologize to my Lord, admitting my faults and praying that He would overwhelm me with forgiveness.

This blog is my attempt to be still. My hope and prayer is that it would keep me thinking all the time about the great joy it is to be a part of God's kingdom. I pray that I might begin to get little glimpses of His majesty in the everyday events of life, and that maybe, it would change the way I live. I want to be a radical disciple of Jesus Christ. Wholly His, and His alone.

Maybe you find yourself in a place of busyness--"to-do lists," homework, chores, house cleaning, meal-making, work, travel or anything else. May this blog be an encouragement to you. In the midst of it all, our Almighty Father is near. Take time to be still. Take time to be quiet and honest. Take time to spend the the Creator. And I promise, He will take time for you.