Hold me now...for real

My life is insane! I praise God that this whole time He has been teaching me more and more to lean on Him and "cast all my cares on Him" in the midst of chaos. To be honest, my life was rocked yesterday. But I'm holding on to the promises of God through it all. It's interesting that I blogged about all things holding together just the day before the storm.

When I had initial blood work done before I went in for surgery to remove my gall bladder (Only a week and a half ago), my liver counts came back a little abnormal. After finding the very sickly gall bladder, the doctors just figured that it had been a chain reaction and had cause my liver to flare up also. However, after surgery was over, and new blood work was done, my liver counts still came back looking not so good. We all figured it was just because my body had not yet fully recovered from surgery just a day earlier. SO, I was asked to go in for blood work this last Wednesday to confirm that everything was fine.

When I got to the lab, they told me to call back in a week to get my test results back, and they would clear me. However, mid-day yesterday I received a phone call from my doctor who sent me in for the lab work. He had called to refer me to a specialist because my blood work showed I tested positive for Hepatitis A and B. In that moment, as those words rolled off his tongue, my whole body began to shake and I had no idea what to say.

As I went through the rest of the day scheduling doctor's appointments, calling family members, seeking other counsel, researching on the internet and asking God "why?," I couldn't help but offer everything to Him.

At this point, there is still much that I don't understand (like how I could have possibly contracted Hepatitis B). There are still a whole lot of unknowns as far as what the rest of my life will look like. One thing I do know is that it won't ever be the same. But to be honest, I'm okay with that. It means that there are way more opportunities for God to show Himself to me, and everyone around me.

"You are blessed when you're at the end of your rope.

With less of you there is more of God and His rule."

~Matthew 5:3 (The Message)

As I look to Him for guidance and comfort, I would appreciate your prayers alongside me. Pray for wisdom for my doctors/specialists. Pray that my witness would be pure and holy. Pray that through this, I would draw closer to the Maker of life itself. I know He has all things in control.

And He has promised to hold me together.